The Suit
by NingyoPrincess
Summary: Warning: Yaoi humor!


'I belong with this suit.' Heero sighed and gently stroked the beautiful structure before him. "I feel whole in this suit, and only this suit." He smiled. It truly was made for him. "Let's do it."  
  
He walked around to the back and climbed in. It felt different and strange. 'Someone's been in it' he thought. 'Someone's been using my suit!' A wave of rage swept over him, but it soon passed as he remembered it wasn't truly his. "I'll steal you someday..." he said day dreamily.  
  
He waved the suit's arm, following its hypnotic movements. He then began to move the legs, forcing it to jump and dive through the air, gracefully landing every time. He continued to move the suit, holding the arms above its head and spinning the legs underneath.  
  
'I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful.' He couldn't believe how beautiful he felt. He began to say it aloud. "I'm beautiful! I'm beautiful! I'M BEAUTIFUL! I'M BEAUT-"  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Duo was standing in the doorway, his mouth wide open.   
  
"Nothing. I'm not doing anything. You didn't see anything!" Heero desperately tried to cover his body.  
  
"Is that a.....MY SIZE BARBIE OUTFIT?!" Heero turned a very deep shade of pink.  
  
"If you tell anyone, I'm gonna ki-"  
  
"In the name of Nataku...." Both boys turned to see Wufei standing in the hallway, a can of soda fallen at his feet. "What are you doing, Yuy?!" Heero's face was now a bright red.  
  
"I.. I.. I wasn't doing anything!"  
  
"Obviously you were doing something!"  
  
"He was screaming 'I'm beautiful' when I found him" Duo cut in.  
  
"Is there something you want to tell us, Yuy?"  
  
"Um, is there something you want to tell us, Wu-wu?"  
  
"What are you talking about, Maxwell?!"  
  
"Your nose is bleeding."  
  
"So is yours!" Both boys turned as red as Heero, and desperately stumbled around the room in search of tissues. After a while, Wufei turned to Duo. "Did you find any?"  
  
"No, but I found a pair of Trowa's underwear."  
  
"WHAT?!" Wufei (whose face was now almost completely covered in blood) turned to look at Duo, who had a pair of Trowa's "tighty whities" rolled up and stuck in his nose. Heero finally spoke up.  
  
"Don't those smell?"  
  
Duo inhaled deeply and shrugged. "They smell like Quatre's cologne."  
  
"Hey! That's Trowa's!" The cross dresser, the underwear sniffer, and Wu-wu turned to see Quatre standing in the doorway.  
  
"Yeah, I know. You see, I got this bloody nose but couldn't find a tissue..."  
  
"Huh?" Quatre turned to look at Duo, and noticed the dripping underwear protruding from the braided boy's left nostril. Quatre's eyes grew to twice their normal size. "What in the name of Allah...?" He cleared his throat. "Um, those are Trowa's too, but I was talking about that." He turned and pointed to Heero's pink ensemble.  
  
"I thought is was a little stretched out."  
  
"What?! You've done this before?!"  
  
"Mrrrrrrrph" came a mumbled sound from Wufei, who was now wiping his nose on Duo's braid.  
  
"Where did you find that, Heero? The last time we used that was at Cinq Kingdom last year." Quatre gave him a questioning look.  
  
"You used this in bed?!" Heero cried. He desperately clawed at the garment, but couldn't get it off.  
  
"Sure." replied Quatre. "Where do you think those stains came from?" Quatre pointed to the many small splatter marks spread over the fabric. "Those things are just so hard to get out."  
  
"Tell me about it. Just look at these pants!" Duo held up a pair of white pants with a black belt and pointed to the splatter marks which occupied the many nooks and crannies of them.  
  
"Hey, those are mine!" said Wufei, whose nose had finally stopped bleeding. "That is injustice in its highest form! And why in the name of Nataku are those stains brown?"  
  
"Heero has a thing for Coke."  
  
"Injustice! Injustice, I tell you! Is there no justice left in the world?!"  
  
"All right, Wufilicious. Calm down."  
  
"I most certainly will not calm down! This is unjustifiable! This is..." Wufei continued on with his rant, while Quatre and Duo looked at each other and sighed.  
  
"Here we go again. I'll get his hands, you get his feet." Quatre picked Wufei up by his ankles as he was told. Duo grabbed his wrists, and they quickly carried him off to the closet. Heero found a sock and shoved it into Wufei's mouth. He and Duo turned and walked back to the other side of the room.  
  
"Now be good!" Quatre smiled and happily flicked the closet door shut. He skipped over to Heero and Duo on the other side of the room.  
  
"Hasn't your nose stopped bleeding yet?" Heero asked as Duo pulled the underwear from his nostril.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"I guess you like the suit then?"  
  
"Suit? What do you mean, suit? It's a My Size Barbie dress!"  
  
"Call it what you like, but you have to admit it's pretty." said Quatre.  
  
"It most certainly is." Duo eyed Heero and licked his lips.  
  
"Hey! You're forgetting it's Trowa's dress!"  
  
"He'll have to fight me for it."  
  
"And you'll have to fight me."  
  
"MRRRRRRRRPPPPHHHH"  
  
"Settle down there, Wu-fairy. We'll let you out if you're good. Now, about that dress..."  
  
"Where did you find that?!" The boys looked for the person who had just spoke and quickly found him. Trowa was standing in the doorway, his one eye the size of a volleyball. "Quatre! I thought we left it at Cinq Kingdom!" Trowa rushed to Heero's side and buried his face in the heavenly fluffles of the dress. His eye began to tear. "It's just like I remember it!"  
  
"Stop touching him! At least let him take the dress off before you start to get sick with it!" Duo snatched Heero away from Trowa's clutches.  
  
"MRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPHHHHH"  
  
"I don't want to take it off." Heero looked into Duo eyes. "Don't make me take it off!"  
  
"You don't have to if you don't want to."  
  
"Uh, Heero....?" Quatre's eyes grew to twice the size of his head.  
  
"You two are forgetting that it's MY dress. Katherine bought it for me!"  
  
"Heero...." Quatre tapped Heero on the shoulder.  
  
"You used something Katherine gave you in bed?!"  
  
"Heero, this is important!!"  
  
"Well yes, but that's not how I think of it! Besides, it's my dress and I can do whatever I want with it!"  
  
"HEERO!"  
  
"Shut up, bang boy!!"  
  
"HEERO!!" Quatre grabbed onto Heero's shoulder and shook it violently.  
  
"What is it Quatre?" said an annoyed Heero.  
  
"Your balls are showing."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So now you know the sick inner workings of Francine. Yup, these type of things really do go on in my head.  
  
So, what did you think? Was it funny? Or just horribly, horribly wrong? Answers to these questions and pictures of Heero in a My Size Barbie outfit can be sent to me at NingyoPrincess@www.com  
  
DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing, its characters, Coke, and My Size Barbie outfits do not belong to me (Well, I do own a Barbie outfit, but that's another story). I'm not making any money off this. I'm just some poor loser with too much free time and a twisted head.  



End file.
